When I was a little girl, I thought my Daddy was invincible!
Next month my Dad will be 82, its an age I did not think he would reach, some years ago he was devastated by a stroke, which robbed him of much of his movement, as time has gone by his health has deteriorated,he has little movement, he sits in a chair all day long, My Mother tends to most of his needs, we have wonderful carers who come in early morning to get him out of bed and dressed, then every evening to put him to bed.Last year he had a long spell in hospital as a result of a water infection plus pneumonia, since then he seems at times very confused, this more than anything, I struggle with. My Dad was the funniest, warmest man you could wish to meet, my memories are of a very proud hard working man, who found humour in most situations, a man who loved to take a drink of beer, which has now been replaced with orange soda,who had such a quick mind, he and my Mum never missed doing the daily crossword in the newspaper, but now he sits and watches old re runs on the tv.All day.
We have nurses come in weekly,because when he was in hospital he got such bad bed sores, they still need attention, one year on. They are kind and caring, and everyone talks to my Dad as though he is five years old, not me. Occasionally, he is very rational, and I see it, that sparkle, that dry sense of humour, sometimes he and I exchange glances, and I know what he is thinking, I work really hard at treating my Dad as normal as I can, he can remember events from 50 years ago very clearly, but cannot tell you what he had for his lunch, short term memory loss, the Doctors say.
Some days I go in with my key, the news is on TV, he is gazing at the screen, I want him to shake his head and call the politicians names, as he used to, and tell me how he would do this or do that! but instead I go in and tuck his rug around his knees, and he looks at me and says " Oh hello Gena!" and I see the sparkle.... and I say " hello Pa, whats this rubbish you are watching then?" and we smile....because I know you are in there.